How NOT To Talk To Someone With Adult Aspergers ASD and other stuff about us

We are Left Handed In A Right Handed World – No Better or Worse Than You!

Dear Non- Aspies : Adults with Aspergers invest a LOT of their time accommodating YOUR behavior and way of ‘being’ please meet us half way and invest some time in understanding and accommodating ‘US’.


Adult Aspergers Gifts - Funny
Fun Aspergers Tshirts and Gifts – Click To See Full Range

I’ve seen the odd guide re how to talk to adults with Aspergers so here’s my take on how NOT to 🙂 Can fellow Aspies please deny, confirm if this is YOU in comments and add to the list for the benefit of our community.

Here we go … it is straight to the point – no flowers here.

How to talk and NOT talk to adults with Aspergers and how to understand ‘us’ better.

Don’t ask us what we mean. It drives us insane. We mean exactly word for word what we said. There is no other meaning we are very literal.

DO NOT ‘read’ into what we said as we often mean nothing more than stated. If we ask a question about your choices it is because we want to learn about you NOT because we’re making a judgement or statement about the choice you made.

If something has no value to us that doesn’t mean we expect it to have no value to you, we just want to understand what that value is because we are curious NOT judgemental. Aspies are rarely judgemental.

Miscommunication happens a LOT with the Aspie being accused of being insensitive, judgemental, hostile when in reality it may be the other persons own insecurities that created the confusion. The misunderstandings are VERY upsetting for adults with Aspergers. It will cause them to retreat into their cave.

Don’t accuse us of lying or ‘hint’ at it. We will also be ‘overly’ upset and offended if you accuse us of lying, being deceitful as it will rarely ever be the case.

We hate small talk. We learn the art but we hate it. We’d rather gouge our eyeballs out with forks.

Don’t talk when lots of background noise with face away. We often need to lip read in these situations . See APD (auditory processing disorder).

We HATE forms – we are form-o-phobic. They cause us anxiety as we ‘will’ try to process all the information whereas a non Aspergers adult may not. We will read forms word for word before signing .. Don’t ask us to sign to say we read it when we didn’t read it. ALSO show us where to sign with a BIG ‘X’ and point to the BIG ‘X’ because otherwise we won’t see it.

We will ask the same question again and again till you give an answer that makes sense to us. Repetition …

We rehearse conversations so if you ask us something unexpected you may get an odd answer especially if we are anxious.

Don’t ask us for an opinion if you really do not want an honest one.

Don’t ask us what we are thinking. Thoughts are private for a reason.

Don’t interrupt us when we are ‘thinking’ it’s worse than interrupting us when we are talking.

If we answer a question with silence it’s because we know you won’t like our answer and we have no alternative answer.

We are sensory beings. We like to touch nice things longer, smell longer , taste longer because we enjoy our senses let us get on with it 🙂 unless it is inappropriate, unwelcome, distracting.

We hate noise .. But are noisy . Some things really irritate like noisy eating , breathing , tapping.

We may however tap and jiggle that relaxes us.

Some clothes are very uncomfortable .. Labels especially dig in. I cut all mine out. This will help your child a lot if you do this.

We dislike convention, tradition and things if they make no rational sense

Conventions and age old traditions can seem utterly pointless, time-wasting and costly … but we can learn them and learn to appreciate them too. Who said we can’t eat desert before dinner and why do we have to ‘obey?‘.. ‘Who said I can’t sit cross-legged on my chair, who am I hurting?’ is a typical mindset. YOUR rules of behavior can be baffling as they’re mainly pointless (in our opinion).

We are mainly logical reasonable rational hence following senseless ‘social’ rules is frustrating.

We dislike surprises. Answering door and even phone will cause anxiety as will unopened post. We like to be prepared for the unexpected and dislike surprises. All these things carry the element of surprise.

Don’t get in our body space or touch us unexpectedly.

We don’t find people being hurt or being conned funny. We don’t enjoy cruel pranks which leave people distressed. So TV programs, YouTube videos and Memes with people falling and hurting themselves won’t amuse us, they will likely upset us.

Chances are we won’t like or get banter. Being rude and hostile is being rude and hostile .. it’s not funny … not to us.

We might not find things you find funny but other things very funny.

We may lack direction sense and fail to recall verbal instructions. We likely prefer maps as we prefer visual instructions.

We adore lists

“WE like big LISTS and we can not lie” 😉

What’s not to love about lists – do I need to elaborate … Really?

We lose things and forget where we put things as short-term memory is poor. Probably because we have more things to think about and process.

We replay every minute of every day especially human contact events to check for errors . We edit ourselves daily making adjustments to how we act to reduce errors the next day. An error may be closing the front door before properly or politely ending a conversation with the person at the door.

We might forget in a conversation to show interest in you.

We may repeat ourselves a lot because we are not sure you heard or because you didn’t respond the way we expected or you didn’t respond at all.

We may be clumsy and bump into things. Our mind is not on what we are doing. Help us to be mindful and present.

MYTH BUSTER: WE can (some of us) read you! As mature adults we have spent a lifetime learning body language , how to detect lies , people reading and so we can be as adults better at knowing what you are really thinking than you realize. If you’re being dishonest we will know.

We as adults may be the exact opposite of how we were as children. We can read you and we read you well. Don’t offend us by continuing to state we are disabled in this regard and cannot. It’s a fallacy. What will confuse us is when your body language and words do not match (dishonest communication). We notice …

You may however often misunderstand and not be able to read us as despite learning all the above about you we do not respond ourselves in accordance with those rules. If we do attempt to fake it we may exaggerate our feelings or behaviors as we are akin to bad actors.

We are childlike. One thing I think may be particular to adults with Aspergers is that internally we feel just as we did when we were children. So being a child in an adult world with all the responsibility is over whelming and scary. Consider though as children we never were ‘childish’.

We’re exhausted 

As adults we’ve likely spent our whole lives feeling crap, different, being told we’re ‘mad, odd, strange, weird, eccentric, offensive, aggressive, blunt’ and trying to be ‘normal’. We’re exhausted, it is tiring … we may as a result now be impatient and fed-up of having to try ‘with you’ so hard.

We are socially anxious possibly as a result of knowing how hard we will have to try out there. We will retreat further and further into our rabbit hole embracing a hermit lifestyle.  We do this to avoid having to try so hard accommodating YOUR ‘weird’ ways 😉 Yes …. to ‘us Aspies’ you are very weird! 🙂

Fellow Aspergers Adults, if you can relate, disagree or have something to add please do so here in comments for the benefit of our community.

You Know You’ve Married A Long Time When … FUNNY Top 10 List

The Longer you’re married the more comfortable you become with each other as your bridges are lowered, with good and hilarious results!

Check out my funny list of the top ten reasons you know you’ve married a long time.

  1. You feel like your right arm is missing when spouse is away

  2. You go to the toilet while the other cleans their teeth

funny reasons you know youve been married a long time list wedding anniversary mugs

  1. You share a toothbrush when needs must

  2. You would donate a kidney if the other needed it

  3. You finish each others sentences

  4. You no longer notice when they break wind

  5. You get each other the same anniversary card by mistake

  6. You both forget your anniversary

  7. Your idea of heaven is a break from their snoring

  8. You’d rather go for a nap than a weekend break

I’ve added this funny list to wedding anniversary gifts (mugs, pillows, ornaments) which can be personalized creating a hilarious and unique keepsake gift to commemorate any wedding anniversary milestone; including silver (25th) golden (50th) ruby (40th) sapphire (45th) diamond (60th) and everything in between. All photos and text can be edited.The Longer you're married the more comfortable you become with each other as your bridges are lowered, with good and hilarious results! Check out my funny list of the top ten reasons you know you've married a long time. I've added this funny list to wedding anniversary gifts (mugs, pillows, ornaments) which can be personalized creating a hilarious and unique keepsake gift to commemorate any wedding anniversary milestone; including silver (25th) golden (50th) ruby (40th) sapphire (45th) diamond (60th) and everything in between. All photos and text can be edited. Photo wedding anniversary gifts are very popular right now as they make the perfect commemorative gift for parents and grandparents. You can add some humor to the occasion with this funny 'reasons you know you've been married years' list which you can edit with your own reasons that fit the married couple's own relationship.

Photo wedding anniversary gifts are very popular right now as they make the perfect commemorative gift for parents and grandparents. You can add some humor to the occasion with this funny ‘you know you’ve been married many years‘ list which you can edit with your own reasons that fit the married couple’s own relationship.

Funny Adult Aspergers Memes – Can You Relate?

Are you always apologising for being honest – what’s up with that?

funny adults aspergers tshirt apology for honesty autism asd
Sorry – NOT!

As an adult on the spectrum I can identify with these funny adult Aspergers memes, jokes and sayings and memes. The phrases were written unintentionally for regular folk but I feel they’re so beautifully apt for ASD Aspies. I could be wrong, I often am so do let me know if you’re an adult on the autism spectrum what you think and if you have any other ideas for funny ‘lighten the load and put a positive spin on it’ Aspergers quotes and phrases.

NOTE: All funny adult Aspergers memes and jokes, sayings featured can be found on tshirts for men and women, mugs, stickers, buttons and totes HERE.

My absolute favorite is this phrase:

“I’m sorry for the mean awful ACCURATE things I said”.

https://www.zazzle.com/z/gjn8q?rf=238065638413579200
I say it how it is

Don’t ever ask an adult on the Aspergers spectrum if your bum looks too big in ‘that’. A very good friend of mine did so many years ago and on receiving an ‘affirmative yes with detailed advice re rectifying the issue, she never spoke to me for 3 days. As we lived together in a studio apartment this made life somewhat difficult. And for me, as I was not only answering the question asked I elaborated with helpful advice this was a very confusing and annoying time!!

Never ask an adult on the Aspergers spectrum anything you don’t want an honest answer to

And for those who consider honest opinions a flaw or a disorder, I am inclined to disagree. I wish the whole world was ‘honest’. Life would be nicer and simpler. For this reason (and many others) I dislike the ‘D’ on the end of the abbreviated diagnosis ASD – Asperger Spectrum Disorder. Yes there are difficulties associated with being on the spectrum, but there are also many positives.

These funny tshirts, mugs, stickers and buttons are also designed to highlight those ASD positives!

unny adults aspergers tshirt leave me alone autism asd
Leave Me Alone

Another favorite of mine is the ‘It’s a beautiful day to leave me alone’ tshirt – accompanied by Aspergers puzzle piece ribbon and a shy unicorn.

Up until recently (I began dating again after many years of single life) I shared adult company no more than 4hrs a week. As I work alone (from home) that is a very isolating existence … for some. Not so much for me. The Internet is magnificent at filling in ‘social’ gaps in a ‘safe’ way which allows me to ‘edit’ myself. That is not to say that I do not enjoy company and socialising ‘in limited chunks’, I do. And I think I’m good at it.

It is not a disorder to enjoy tranquility

funny aspergers memes jokes brain too many tabs open unicorn
My Brain Hurts

Like a great many others, I enjoy my downtime.  Especially in this over cluttered, rat race of a Western world. Does this make me abnormal? I don’t think so. There are many parts of the world where things are less ‘busy, bureaucratic and energy zapping’ and for those places I suspect the notion of ASD is non-existent.

This ‘condition’ is I believe in large a product of the environment. Yes it can be reflected (brain scans have shown) in brain structure, but what came first?

Did the behavior facilitate the change in the brain or did the brain facilitate the behavior?

I have more to add to this … will catch up later.

funny aspergers memes dont underestimate me
Don’t Underestimate Me

Zazzlers Design Skool – Grasp The Basics of Graphic Design Principles

Average Joe doesn’t cut it on Zazzle anymore

With many thousands of designers, a good proportion of whom are professionals, the days of being able to stick a random photo, original piece of art on a Zazzle product (with no template fields) and have it sell are over.

Leave your ‘out-of-the-box designs’ at the door

zazzle invitations trending nowThe customer is very discerning today and with so much choice available to them, they can afford to be. The customer wants High Street Quality designs that they can customize.

What this means is that they want the latest trending graphics, colors, products and not last seasons, last years or whatever crazy new idea you’ve come up with.

Modern Chinese Save the Date Wedding Cute Informal Invitation

I’ve come up with loads of out-of-the-box design ideas over the years and much as ‘I’ love them, not many others seem to. As such I now TOW the line in favor of profit.

I do sometimes have a dabble outside the trending lines (left is an example featuring my own art) to satisfy my creative arty nature, but then it’s back to the serious business of doing what I need to do to make money.

Zazzle is your guide re what’s HOT – check out their home pages

customizable trendy tshirts zazzleZazzle recognises this which is why on their main pages what you see reflects High Street trends more than it does original artists home-grown flavors.

They have trending slogan t-shirts, the latest seasons colors and favored graphic elements (pineapples have been popular a while!) and all applied to the product with professional graphic designer precision.

There is NOTHING amateur about what Zazzle features on its home pages.

Bottom line, if you want to make serious money then you have to play by Zazzle’s rules; unless of course you’re an artist with a following, a recognizable brand, or a unique niche ( I envy you and your unique niches!!) then the rules do not apply.

GOOD NEWS – FREE Beginners In Graphic Design Resource

I have found a great FREE Graphic Design resource website which features video tutorials as well as the written word and pictures (which I prefer) on the basic principles of graphic design (software not required). The basics are VERY important as they lay the foundation for everything you do.

Grasp these and you’re on your way to creating eye-catching, sophisticated designs on Zazzle which will capture today’s discerning consumer audience.

Tutorial Links

What you will learn …


and so much more!!

How to overcome Zazzler Blues and make some serious money

Have you got the Zazzler Blues?

Change , change and more change

Zazzle has undergone many changes in recent years causing a fair amount of chaos and disruption at times for designers. But the reasons for change have been solid and valuable. They include:

  • The need to remain ahead of the competition
  • The need to accommodate fluctuating consumer demands
  • The need to ensure the BEST designs are at the top of searches (and the worst ideally unseen by all) as numbers of designers and designs increased by tens of thousands.
  • The need to accommodate changes in search engine preferences.

The increase in choice for the consumer means its harder than ever for them to find the perfect item for their needs. They don’t want to search through thousands of products and multiple sites.  As such Zazzle has to find ways for the cream of the crop to float to the top (best designs) FAST .

Failing to answer a need fast on the web means the user clicks away from the site and looks elsewhere.

What do the changes mean for us?

For a great many of us who do not have the time to adjust to the changes this can mean a dramatic drop in sales as our products are pushed further and further back in the marketplace and become harder to find.

BUT for those who do have the time and the ambition, it remains a worthy investment and sales are on the increase.

What can we do about it?

The questions asked by those who have been adversely affected by the changes, are

  1. “How Do We Catch Up?”
  2. “Can we still compete in this ever-changing and increasingly competitive market place?”
  3. “Is it worth carrying on?”

If you’ve seen a drop in sales in recent months it is easy to become disheartened and disillusioned especially when you already worked so hard to do as well as you had previously been doing up until this point. Blast those Zazzle changes!

Hope is NOT lost

It will take hard work and a leap of faith to make the changes necessary to turn your stores around so once again they start making money.

If you’re in any doubt as to what this may mean, for myself (for whom sales have never been better) I am currently in the process of editing the descriptions and tags for almost 10,000 products.

Why am I doing this?

Because there is always a better way to do things and I believe my current way is not as effective as it could be regarding making my products visible to search engines and the Zazzle marketplace.

10,000 products may not seem a lot to those who have a few hundred thousand (courtesy of quick create and years of devoted Zazzling) but in terms of workload and ‘leaps of faith’ that the changes have a positive impact on sales, I anticipate around 80hrs of work. Unpaid, labor of love, unless of course it pays off and I reap the dividends!

How do we make the most of our time?

It’s easy to spend days and weeks heading in the wrong direction. This post aims to help you move in the right direction.

Invest Your Time as follows:

  • Read Zazzle’s guides about how to increase Zrank (like or loathe it, it is here to stay – get on board!).
  • Self promote and share your products (share every one after publishing).
  • Learn some basic Graphic Design skills – VERY IMPORTANT – look at the top sellers and the professional quality of their designs – this is what you should be aspiring to create yourself.
  • Write a description that will provide value to the consumer
  • Write 10 tags (40 characters per tag – 5 words – whereby the tags relate to the product title, the function and purpose of the item as well as its physical description (graphic elements, colors etc.).
  • Delete or hide old stock that has NO views or sales.
  • REDO stock that has HIGH views but no sales.
  • DO MORE of items that sell well – offer greater variety, alternative customization options
  • Use Quick Create with caution – ensure designs properly fit the product in orientation and purpose! Remember to share each and every product as you would with singles.
  • Have all products in related collections
  • Use titles that accurately describe your items function and appearance
  • Add new products to your store at least weekly
  • Follow trends in design and popular culture for ideas
  • Create seasonal items at least 3 months ahead of the season
  • Promote seasonal items at least one month ahead of the season

That’s it for now, feel free to add your own ideas and opinions in comments

 

 

 

Funny Top 10 Reasons To Drink Wine

Do you really need a reason? Wine lovers will appreciate this funny list of reasons to drink wine

FUNNY Top 10 Reasons To Drink Wine This funny list features on a mug so you can gift it to your wine loving friend on their birthday or other special event. The mugs can be personalized with names and greetings.

Top ten reasons to drink wine
1. There’s no such thing as wine-belly.
2. Because you look odd when you sniff and swirl a glass of milk.
3. You’re giving the block party an air of class
4. The Pope drinks it
6. It’s an investment you can drink
7. It’s Monday one day this week
8. Refusal can cause offence
9. Time goes slower when you drink wine
10. It’s wine o’clock

More great wine lover giftswine lovers gifts personalized classy monogrammed

 

Funny Top 10 Reasons To Stay Married

Do you need reasons to stay married? Maybe you don’t but just for fun here’s a great list!

funny top 10 reasons to stay married listI put this list (compiled myself) on a gift mug which you can gift to a happy couple on their wedding anniversary. You can add their names and a personalized message.

It’s suitable for wedding anniversary milestones and those in between. Also makes a good gift idea between husband and wife.

Top Ten reasons to stay married – list

1. Free Sex – you’re free of it until you divorce.
2. No need for an alarm – snoring wakes you at 3am.
3. Save money on laundry, husbands change pants less regularly than lovers.
4. You become desensitized to rotten smells (see above).
5. Stay married to spite your in-laws.
6. Clearing up after spouse keeps you fit.
7. You can divide the technical challenges (who gets to hold tv remote).
8. Beds don’t make themselves!
9. Food tastes better when someone else cooked it.
10. Divorce is expensive

Top 10 Reasons Adults Should Play With Lego

funny top 10 reasons adults play with lego plastic bricksI love Lego every bit as much today as I did when I was a kid, but I don’t buy it for myself. I did however buy my son far more than he ever wanted 😉

In honor of this fantastic pastime I’ve designed a fun mug you can gift to other adult men or women who love these little plastic bricks!

The mug features the list along with some graphics and template text field where you can add a name.

Top 10 reasons why adults should play with plastic bricks

1. Accidentally walking on plastic bricks burns 200 calories
2. You can build a fort and hide from boss in it.
3. Women like men who are good with their hands.
4. Sorting by color and size helps relieve stress.
5. Jigsaws are just so last century.
6. Playing with plastic brick kits is a dress rehearsal for
flat pack furniture.
7. You can take the boat you made and test it in the bathtub.
8. Just like diamonds, plastic bricks really are forever.
9. You know you’re successful when you can no longer
fit all your bricks in a drawer.
10. It’s not the size of the brick that matters its what you can
do with it.

Now check out these other great Lego gifts for adults (best sellers) from Amazon.


Funny Top Ten Reasons To Eat Cake

Cake Lovers will enjoy these hilariously funny reasons why they MUST eat cake, every day!

funny top 10 reasons to eat cake mugI’ve created this list myself and added it to customizable mugs with cute cake, donut, and cupcake designs to gift to your cake loving friends and family.

They are the perfect mugs to accompany a yummy slice of cake! Take the guilt out of enjoying your favorite treat.

Why not? A little of what you fancy does you the world of good. Page down for serious reasons why it’s good to eat cake!

Here’s my reasons to eat cake list:

funny top 10 reasons to eat cake mug donuts1. A little bit of what you fancy does you good

2. Someone somewhere is celebrating their birthday

3. The more you eat, the harder you are to kidnap

4. It’d be rude not to

6. Life is hard, cake is not – eat cake

7. It tastes better than bread

8. Refusal can cause offence

9. Time goes slower when you eat cake

10. Cake is for Life, not just for Christmas!

funny top 10 reasons to eat cake gift mugs

Reasons why it’s allegedly genuinely good for you to eat cake (and I say allegedly as I haven’t checked the scientific evidence to support this info!) include that eating a ‘sweet treat’ like cake for breakfast can give you enough of a sugar and energy boost to fill you up for longer, stopping you from overeating and snacking during the day. Additionally the pleasure factor gained from eating cake reduces stress levels. I’m not convinced enough to gobble a slice of cake everyday though, are you?

Gift Ideas for Priests Leaving The Parish

What to gift your Priest who is moving on to pastures new?

(Note: the personalized Zazzle gifts linked have text template fields whereby you can edit the occasion, names, dates, years in service and any religious quotes, verses etc. So do LOOK at all regardless of niche occasion product titles).

Gift ideas Priests leaving parishPriests receive a great many gifts from their parish members throughout their religious life.

Gifts include Bibles, icons, plaques, rosary beads and boxes and many other religious themed items which can over the years mount up creating box loads of Priest gifts. And though they appreciate these many gifts it does make it difficult to display, store and when leaving a Parish a challenge to pack up and transport.

With this in mind, there are alternative gift options for a Priest who is leaving the parish which he or she will be delighted to receive as they are both commemorative and practical. Practical being the operative word here.

Gift ideas for priests
Priest Gifts – Edit Text for any occasion

Cash , a cheque, a donation to the church and a prayer are always welcome as are consumables which do not require any storage. These might include food and wine gift baskets, a voucher for a day at the golf course or a gift certificate.

Practical Keepsakes make great leaving gifts

A journal or planner for your Priest which has been personalized to reflect your appreciation and his years in service to your community is one such idea.

They will have many reasons to make entries in such a planner or journal in their new ministry. Appointments, sermon notes and more.

Let’s take a look at a varied range of Priest journals and planners which cover all budgets.

Gifts are available via Zazzle (can be personalized) and Amazon.

(Note: the gifts linked have text template fields whereby you can edit the occasion, names, dates, years in service and any religious quotes, verses etc. So do LOOK at all regardless of niche occasion product titles).

priest gift ideas journal planner diary


More great gift ideas for Priests (any occasion)