Do you ever buy yourself a gift .. Is it selfish to do so? Q

jealous about a giftQ: Have you ever bought yourself a birthday gift, Mother’s Day gift etc. from your own money?

A: Being good to yourself does not automatically mean you are being selfish. To me, being selfish involves excluding others in favor of yourself and that’s not the same as treating yourself using your own money. We all deserve to be indulged once in a  while. Not everyone has the luxury of having others do that for them.

So yes, in my opinion YOU can most definitely buy yourself a gift and NO it is not selfish.

I myself am in the process of arranging a Spa weekend with a girlfriend. This will be my ‘Mother’s Day Gift’ to myself. I won’t go into all the fabulous treats I’ve indulged my little sprogletts with of late (and forever) I will simply assure you that yes .. I do deserve it and NO it’s not selfish. I’m not treating myself at the expense of others and no one is missing out on anything , aside that is from one very rare evening without mom.

I will feel the usual guilt us mom’s feel but I am forging ahead with my plan.

You should be good to yourself. Valuing yourself has a large part to play in self-esteem. If we believe we ‘deserve’ treats and nice things, then it shows a healthy love of one self. Feeling undeserving demonstrates self-loathing and that is not good for anyone. Love yourself and everyone else follows suit. I am not advocating turning into a narcissist ..heaven no, just appreciate yourself more. Take care of yourself, take care of others, appreciate yourself, appreciate others and so on re respect and love etc. These things are not exclusive.

Do not fall into the trap of thinking you deserve things you cannot afford. Be rational and practical about whether you can afford to treat yourself or not. Getting into debt isn’t a treat.

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